You finger my trigger then you blame my gun

Joel Stein's pilot "Joint Custody" was not picked up...for the second year in a row. Personally, I thought it was pretty funny. But I think a lot of things are funny. And I'm not a Network Executive. So keeping these two facts in mind, my opinion doesn't really matter.

And now for a story from yesterday:
My coworker asked me to watch her baby while she went into a meeting and I said "yes" b/c I am a nice person and/or too scared to say no and risk being labeled the baby hater. So I'm watching the baby, literally, b/c it's just sleeping and I periodically put my hand to its mouth to make sure it's breathing, thus creating that oh so familiar feeling of paranoia in the mother's absence. The baby eventually wakes up and instead of seeing mommy it sees me and starts crying (a baby has an attention span of about 7 seconds, so it doesn't wake up and think "Oh, that's that other lady that sometimes holds me" but rather "Who the f*ck is that...waaaahhhhhh!!!") I pick her up and carry her around saying "It's okay, it's okay" and patting her on the back as I've seen others do before but she doesn't hear me b/c she's crying so f*cking loud. Finally, she stops screaming (thank god) so I set her on my knee and continue typing an IM I had started before her breakdown... when suddenly she vomits all over the left leg of my pants. The same pants that earlier in the day I had decided to return b/c they're too big. So I pick up the baby and take her to her mom who's still in the meeting b/c puke on me once, shame on you- puke on me twice, shame on me. Plus, she's not my baby. I didn't expel her from my loins so I feel no real connection or obligation. After the hand off, I had to change pants (luckily, I had my work out shorts w/ me) b/c of the overwhelming smell of vomit omitting from my the left lower region of my body. I felt like that kid in the 2nd grade wearing the normal shirt on top and the too big gym sweats on the bottom b/c they pissed their pants. Yep, that was me. To make matters even worse, I was so menstrual that it just escalated the situation from "ha ha a baby puked on me" to "I hate that baby for ruining my pants, I'm going to pout about it for an hour and IM my friends over and over about it and even consider crying". And I swear to you, when my coworker walked the baby by later that day, I glared at it. I would have given it the finger if mommy hadn't been looking. I was that mad. The end.
R.